Another small mess.

My best friend says, "You're stupid".
I just sit here and blame cupid.
I know that she is right and I should be smarter.
I just don't think doing that could be harder.
I've thrown away guys who were much better than him.
Why can't I throw away another? He tends to be so grim.
He never is what he seems.
He never seems to corespondent with my dreams.
And yet he won't leave my mind.
Like a disease that leaves marks behind.
Maybe he's right, I might be broken.
I am anything but soft spoken.
I can be weird and a little crude.
You can rarely find me being rude.
Sure I have my obsessions and my mind is a mess.
I give in to old problems, that is something I confess.
I know the problems are coming back and harder.
I don't blame him, I wish I could, but here I am a martyr.
Giving up something that means so much to me.
Just because my oldest friend tells me I can succeed.
Maybe if you look perfect she says he might believe.
That he might love you if you just concede.
Control is key in this world and you must be strong.
You can be better and you've thought about it all along.
But I will work and do my best.
To not become another small mess.